(Lights up on MR LESTER in a business suit sitting
CS at a desk that faces DS. Across it from
him sits MRS HEWITT, richly dressed and facing left.
They are relaxed, smiling, smug. An empty
chair faces hers; between them and slightly
DS is a metal waste basket. A folder heavy
with well-thumbed documents is open on the otherwise
bare desk.)
MR
LESTER
(patting the documents)
Your
father made wise investments for you. They're
paying off beautifully.
MRS
HEWITT
They're
still in his name--but this is his brokerage.
(pause)
And
you do run it well.
MR
LESTER
(smile widens)
Thank
you.
(more
seriously, hand on file)
These
are part of his overall strategy, but they are set
aside strictly for you. No question.
MRS
HEWITT
He
trusts you. And so do I.
MR
LESTER
(closing file)
Dignity.
I like to think that I run your father's firm with
dignity. Nothing fly-by-night here.
MRS
HEWITT
That's
what our clients expect. I want your most
reliable man.
MR
LESTER
(rises, picking up file)
I'll
give you our chief accountant.
(walks
USL, calls)
Oh,
Fartmore.
(Pause.
FARTMORE, harassed, round-shouldered, in reading
glasses and a shabby jacket, shuffles pitifully
onstage USL and stops, facing MR LESTER, who stares
at him with distaste, then turns to MRS HEWITT.)
This
is our chief accountant, Mr--
(pause)
--Fartmore.
(to
FARTMORE, handing him the file)
See
to Mrs Hewitt's investment program. We'll
need an estimate of this year's income.
(pause;
to MRS HEWITT)
I'll
leave you two alone.
(He
exits USL. Pause. FARTMORE and MRS HEWITT
stare at each other. Then he shambles to the
chair facing hers and sits, the file in his lap.
Pause.)
MRS
HEWITT
How
are you, Ernest?
(Pause.)
FARTMORE
Fine.
You?
MRS
HEWITT
It's
been a long time.
FARTMORE
Has
it?
MRS
HEWITT
Don't
you know?
(pause)
We
were in love--weren't we?
FARTMORE
(wistful, beaten, almost smiles)
We
were very tenderly in love.
(Pause.)
MRS
HEWITT
I'm
afraid I hurt you.
(Pause.
He looks down.)
I'm
afraid I hurt you terribly.
(pause)
I
was serious about you, you know. I wanted
to--
(pause)
But
I couldn't very well become Mrs Fartmore!
(Pause.)
FARTMORE
(softly, cynically)
No.
MRS
HEWITT
Why
on earth didn't you change it? A rose by any
other name would--
FARTMORE
(interrupting)
Yes.
(pause)
I
don't know why I didn't change it. If I had
a wart on my nose I suppose I'd have it burned off.
I have nothing against plastic surgery. As
soon as you do it you say, why did I wait, why didn't
I do it long ago? It's such a relief!
And yet--
(pause)
I
don't know. I have no moral position on it.
I looked around for one and all I came up with was
perversity.
MRS
HEWITT
Stubbornness!
FARTMORE
(shrugs)
All
right.
MRS
HEWITT
With
another name you could have gone somewhere, become
something! I couldn't even introduce you to
my friends!
FARTMORE
(smiles)
You
used to hide me. I spent hours in your kitchen
so you wouldn't have to speak the name.
MRS
HEWITT
Ernest,
really! I couldn't bear to!
FARTMORE
I
used to sit out by the swimming pool talking to
your daughter until your friends left.
MRS
HEWITT
(softening)
Was
it so bad? She's a sweet girl.
FARTMORE
She
was good company.
MRS
HEWITT
(fondly)
I
think she had a crush on you.
FARTMORE
She
must have.
(Pause.
Her smile fades.)
MRS
HEWITT
Why
do you say that?
(pause)
Did
anything--happen?
(pause)
Did
you touch that girl?
(stands,
shouts)
Fartmore!
Did you touch my daughter?
(Pause.
He fidgets, crosses his legs.)
FARTMORE
She
was so--vivacious. And--in a bathing suit--
MRS
HEWITT
(shrieking)
You
put your hands on my daughter?
FARTMORE
(haltingly)
There
was--an exchange of--caresses.
MRS
HEWITT
Do
you know I could have you fired from this job?
My father owns this company! Where would you
go at your age? What kind of work could you
do?
(pause)
Did
you-- How far did you-- You didn't!
(He
nods meekly. She is appalled, but determined
to know.)
How
often? How many-- When did you break
off? When I stopped seeing you?
(He
shakes his head.)
Longer?
You continued after-- You're not still--
Oh my God! You are fired!
(screaming
USL)
Mr
Lester!
(to
FARTMORE)
You
no longer work here! She'll stop seeing you
at once!
FARTMORE
I'm
afraid it's too late.
(Pause.
She gapes at him.)
Your
daughter has become--
(takes
off his glasses)
--Mrs
Fartmore.
(pause)
She's
very brave.
(MRS
HEWITT sits, shaken. Pause. FARTMORE'S
suavity now steadily increases.)
MRS
HEWITT
I'll
cut you off without a penny!
FARTMORE
(shakes his head, almost apologetic)
Your
father has put everything in my hands.
MRS
HEWITT
(with new horror)
You're
just an accountant here!
FARTMORE
(leans back, relaxed)
Only
while I take stock. It's easier when they
don't know I own it. I guess the secret's
out now.
(MR
LESTER hurries in USL, crosses to DS and stands
over FARTMORE, who holds the folder over the wastebasket.)
MR
LESTER
(solicitous)
Yes,
Mrs Hewitt?
(FARTMORE
drops the folder loudly into the can.)
FARTMORE
(to MRS HEWITT)
Your
investment package looks at little iffy right now.
MR
LESTER
(shocked)
Fartmore!
FARTMORE
(to MRS HEWITT)
We'll
give you an allowance.
MR
LESTER
(outraged)
Fartmore,
what are you doing? Fartmore, stand up when
I speak to you!
(FARTMORE,
deadpan, looks at the audience. Lights down.)
THE
END
